I’ve had a problem sleeping forever. (Yes, I’m envious of my cat who can sleep wherever and does all the time.)

When I first started painting, I found it helpful to unwind, especially when I was on long work trips alone. And it often did, until it didn’t. Until now, when I paint all the time and I still can’t sleep.

I’ve been reading hardcovers again. Not like I used to read as a young woman, where I binged on titles, my Sony Walkman blaring reggae or New Wave, in bliss. But nonetheless I’ve been reading, most often about process and the challenge to make art. I’ve discovered one amazing thing: most of my heroes had insomnia too.

My favorite artist insomnia story is that when Francis Bacon couldn’t sleep, he’d read cookbooks. I love that image in my head, I imagine him sitting in his studio, squalor surrounding him, intently reading recipes. I’m going to have to paint that image someday. But first, sleep.